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08.01.2002: Etiquette Schmetiquette
common-sense manners for real-world living
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continued from page 3
wedding thank yous
Q: I'm getting married soon, and have a question about thank you notes.  How do you write a thank you note when the gift is money?  For holiday and birthday gifts it's easier - "Thank you so much for your thoughtful gift of $30, I bought a luxurious scarf."  But for the wedding, most of the gift money will probably go to paying bills.  What's the best way to write a thank you note for that?  "Hope you enjoyed the floral arrangements, your gift paid for them?"

Thank you for any advice you could give!

A: If you’re saving up for something in particular – a down-payment on your first house, for instance – by all means mention that in your notes, even if the possibility of actually purchasing that something are way, way far in the future. Still, it sounds like you’re basically planning to just pop all that money straight into your bank accounts. Here were two versions of the money thank yous that came in mighty handy for us when we were writing those endless wedding thank you notes:

Thank you so much for your generous gift – we haven’t decided what to do with it yet, but in the meantime, it’s gone towards helping us start a joint savings account!

Thank you so much for your thoughtful gift – it will certainly come in very handy as we start building a home and life together!


Both basically say the same thing – “Thanks for the money; we appreciate it but aren’t putting it towards anything specific worth mentioning” – but in slightly less blunt terms. They’re a little vague, certainly, but honest. And besides, couples receive so much money for the wedding that no one really expects them to put that money to immediate specific use.
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