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06.27.2002

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06.27.2002: Etiquette Schmetiquette
common-sense manners for real-world living |
1 2 3 4
continued from page 3

wedding gift quandaries ...  cont.
A:
Let me get this straight: your friend had the gall to throw a hissyfit at you for forgetting to leave them the wedding gift youíd had every intention of presenting to them, after youíd already gone to much expense and trouble to participate in their happy day, and youíre the ones that he thinks are "rude and distasteful"? Now thereís the kettle calling the pot black. Only in this case, the potís not black at all. Which is my way of saying: itís often the case in life that those that scream loudest about the rudeness and tackiness of those around them are oftentimes the rudest and tackiest of all.

There are so many counts on which your friend was sorely, sorely out of line that Iím not even sure where to begin. I mean, thereís the fact that itís pretty common for people to mail gifts to the couple just after the wedding, and under no circumstances is it required for any guest to show up at the ceremony and reception with fancy be-ribboned package in tow Ė yet here he is, just days after his wedding, making lists of who brought gifts and who didnít and personally calling up the supposed etiquette offenders to tell them why they suck? Doesnít he have anything better to do Ė like, oh, getting lovey-dovey with his new wife for instance? Then thereís the fact that even if a guest does happen to forget to send a gift, one should simply have the grace and sense to be happy that they took they time away from their hectic lives to come and celebrate in the special day. 

Which wasnít even the case here, since you actually had a gift in hand even, but simply forgot to leave it with them the night of the actual event Ė understandable, considering the fact that your husband was involved in the wedding and undoubtedly simply got caught up in the excitement of it all. 

On top of all that, you were nice enough to very kindly explain as much to him even after he had the boorishness to call you up and ream you for not showering him and his bride with the worldly goods to which he seems to feel entitled. Honestly, and call me harsh, but Iím frankly of the opinion that this jerk deserves neither your card, your gift, or your friendship.

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