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VII. Thou shalt not rattle on incessantly about your wedding. Remember that there are other events still happening in the world. Try to have conversations that don't involve the symbolism of baby-pink roses. But feel free to get some wedding talk in. It's only natural.

VIII. Thou shalt give a thoughtful thank-you gift. The bridal party gifts can be tricky. You probably can't afford to spend a fortune on them, but you don't want to slight your friends, either. Remember that you don't have to go matchy-matchy -- not every attendant has to receive the same thing. You can burn CDs to suit each person's taste (not a CD of your personal favorite love ballads, please). Or consider a small gift card to their favorite store or restaurant. It may seem impersonal, but it's guaranteed they will get more use from the gift card than from a pink t-shirt that says "Bridesmaid" on it in rhinestones.

IX. Thou shalt not force your bridesmaids to tan. Does skin cancer ring a bell? If you really care passionately about the shade of your friends' skin, buy them each a bottle of sunless tanner. Neutrogena makes a good one. I can't promise that they will take this well, but it's certainly better than exposing them to radiation. You could also pay for them to go to a spray-on tan bed a few days prior to the big event.

X. Thou shalt not engage your friends in D.I.Y. crafts unless they offer. If you're like my friends and me, you get excited by the prospect of crafting. But not everyone's idea of a good time is spending an entire day tying miniature bows on each of your 400 invitations. If they want to help, great. But don't make it a requirement.

o o o

Basically, brides, be considerate of the people who have volunteered their time and money to you. Think about what you would want if you were in their shoes, because chances are, you will be soon. Your friends will remember the pink taffeta number you made them wear and they will return the favor.

And bridesmaids? Be a little extra understanding than you might under normal circumstances. Your friend is under a lot of extra stress right now and could probably use a little humor (and a shot or two). Chances are she didn't want the pink taffeta nightmare either. Her mom probably picked it out.

o

Stacy Conradt got married in October 2005. All of her bridesmaids still like her (she thinks), so these tips really do work! Stacy now lives in Philadelphia, PA with her husband and their longhaired dachshund, Jackson.

more articles by Stacy Conradt: 
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