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02.23.2006

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the bride's ten commandments how to plan your wedding and keep your friends too  
by Stacy Conradt
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I am at "That Age," as my mother puts it. As in the age where all of my formerly-single friends are pairing off and getting married. As a newlywed, I'm not immune to the phenomenon myself.

Including my own, I've attended at least ten weddings and been in five of those in the past 16 months or so. It can be a busy and fun time for everyone involved, and there are tons of activities: showers, parties, fittings, trials. And cake-testing. Let us not forget the cake-testing.

But underneath all of the excitement comes a sense of foreboding. There's always the possibility that your cool, independent, outside-of-the-box best friend will turn into Brideula (a bride who sucks your will to live… I've had enough of this Bridezilla trend). Although she may have her master's thesis looming ahead of her, suddenly nothing is more important than finding the exact shade of purple nail polish to match the candy-colored cupcake dresses she picked out for her bridesmaids.

Don't get me wrong; I'm not faulting anyone. It happens to the best of us. I distinctly remember how vital it was that I find the perfect rhinestone pin for my hair. I spent a ridiculous amount of money buying various styles only to end up using a $14 headband bought at a costume store.

The truth is, some of the things you may think are essential won't be noticed by anyone else. Now that I've seen the wedding minutiae from both the bride and the bridesmaid point of views, I can offer a little bit of advice on how to survive the wedding planning process with your sanity intact (and keep your friends as well).

The Ten Commandments: What Not to do to Your Bridesmaids

I. Thou shalt not demand professional nails, hair and makeup. Everyone knows weddings cost an arm and a leg these days, and not just for the people hosting it. The bridal party can spend a small fortune on dresses, shoes, engagement gifts, shower gifts, wedding gifts, transportation, the bachelorette party… the list goes on and on. I promise you that no one attending your wedding will be examining the bridesmaids' hands closely enough to see if they have gotten manicures or not, so spare them the expense. Bottom line: if you really want your friends to have professional hair, makeup or nails, make sure you include it in your budget. They could also do each others' nails -- I know that I always do a better job on someone else than I do on myself.

glide along this way,,,

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