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| surviving the bridal
by Karri Peifer | 1 2 3 4 5 6
continued from page 1
I'm a host, you're
The planning and execution
of the bridal shower generally falls to us under-appreciated recruits, the
bridesmaids. There is the rare occasion when a fortuitous bridesmaid
finds that some distant relation or family
friend of the bride wants to undertake the mission of the bridal shower.
In that case, you're off the hook. You can
get by with some meek protests and the obligatory offer of your
constant service to the charitable individual (i.e. you can show up
and mutter to anyone willing to listen that you wanted to help). Unfortunately,
however, the shower is, traditionally, the bridesmaid's
duty and the vast majority of time, we get stuck with the stress of
planning it all.
Now, chances are good you're sharing
the responsibilities with several other women. And for the first-time
bridesmaid, you're probably thinking it would be polite to offer
to host the party in your own home. In
my experience, however, the bridesmaid with the largest and most
adult home is generally the person who
ought to "host" the shower. It is not a good idea to
crowd twenty of the bride's attendees
into a studio apartment.
Curiously, bridesmaiding is a competitive
sport, and frequently several bridesmaids will offer to open
up their homes to an odd collection of the bride's family and coworkers.
Count yourself lucky if the shower is held elsewhere; you'll save
on clean up and potential random hazards (like someone's
Aunt Becky eating her way through what you thought was your well
hidden Haagen-Daz). Still, even if the actual party's taking place
outside of your own humble abode, as a co-organizer
of the event, you should consider yourself one of the hosts. And
as a good host, each bridesmaid is responsible
for helping to pay for the bridal shower. So reconcile yourself
to the fact that as a bridesmaid your
expense account needs to be expanded to include a party (sadly
it also means that you have to help with set-up and clean up of
the shower). Time now to get down to
the lines of communication
The execution of this
day of gifts and food will go a lot smoother once the lines of communication amongst
the bridesmaids are open. Email, in general, is the best way to communicate.
In most cases, the maid-of-honor assumes
the role of commander-in-chief, and assembles a handy bridal party
address list. The leader, however, doesn't have to be the maid of honor,
and in some cases -- when the maid of honor lives far away from everyone
else, for instance -- it may even make more sense for someone else
to take charge. Basically, any aggressive personality turned doting bridesmaid
can commence the planning.
moseying: more tips this way
---------------------------> lounge . nourish . host . laze . home .