|SiGN UP! join
the DigsNews mailing list + we'll keep you posted about updates and other DIGS-related news .
to the boards
common-sense manners for real-world living |
1 2 3
continued from page 2
Annoying friends of
friend (answer cont.)...
So letís analyze your options. If you continue to avoid Jane
and Wayne, without any explanation whatsoever for your actions,
there is absolutely, positively no way in hell that they wonít
take the evasion as a personal insult. Unless they are
preternaturally thick-skinned, or just plain dim, they will, at
some point, begin to notice that their overtures for group
excursions are met with constant rejection by you and your
honey. And no one likes the feeling of rejection, right? Follow
this path and you might as well bid a big buh-bye to the
friendship right now.
On the other hand, itís entirely possible that blurting out "I
hate your best friends!" may come across as just a tad offensive to
Jane and Wayne. Most people are fiercely loyal to their friends Ė as
well they should be Ė and donít take kindly to insinuations that
theyíve done a lousy job of choosing any of those friends. Itís
clear you have to do or say something about the situation, but the
magnitude of how direct and honest you ought to be is going to depend in
large part on what sort of people Jane and Wayne are. Forthright people
tend to appreciate the brutal truth from others, and would far prefer to
hear whatís really going on then continue to put up with forced
politeness and lame excuses. But if Janeís the sort of girl who gets
pissy when you tease her about her cute but crazy guffaw of a laugh, or
Wayneís the kind of guy that gets defensive when you make a joke about
his predilection for stupid movie comedies, a truckload of tact and a
fair amount of white lying may be in order.
Next time Jane calls you up suggesting another excruciating
evening with Jill and Bill, tell her, yet again, that you canít
make it. But this time, let her know how sorry you are that itís
been so long since you and your boyfriend spent time with her
and Wayne, and how youíd love to have the two of them over for
dinner sometime so that you four can catch up. Sneak in those
phrases "the two of you" and "the four of
us" as frequently as you can during the conversation, and
even the most oblivious of the socially inept will be able to do
the math and realize that you just donít want Jill and Bill
added to the equation.
lounge . nourish
host . laze
. home .