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Originally posted by meggo:
you don't know how to file.
Want instructions? Open file cabinet. Look for file marked with whatever bill it is (phone, gas, insurance). Place bill in folder, close door.
But no - that kind of rocket science is left up to me.

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That said...

Please stop throwing the towels over the bedposts when you're finished with them. We have two perfectly good bars in the bathroom that are made for - get this - hanging towels! Also, I can't reach them when they're up there and I know you'll never take them down.

Love,
Isabelle

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Originally posted by LaMantequilla:
It would be awesome if you could clean something, anything, without me nagging and henpecking for several days beforehand. I don't WANT to nag and henpeck; I just want the house to be clean. Asking you nicely doesn't seem to work. Also, if you drink a beverage? Throw the empty can/bottle away before you get a new one. This prevents the house from becoming an ocean of empty cans and bottles, see? The trash can is right next to the fridge. It's no extra work for you. You're getting up and heading in that direction anyway.

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Oh, man. Sooooo true.

JUST-CLEAN-SOMETHING. ANYTHING. And it's really not a huge accomplishment when you finally do, sorry to say. It's called basic household sanitation. And I'm very sorry your mother led you to believe that there are magic fairies that follow behind you and pick up after you, change the bedsheets, clean the bathtub and toilet and that you never have to do it.

The catbox is kept in your computer room. Jeez, don't you smell that? No, you seriously don't, do you?

Leaving dirty dishes with food on them next to the computer or on your night stand is just disgusting. And when I said to take your dishes to the sink and rinse them off, I meant SCRAPE THE FOOD OFF FIRST so there's not chunks of cruddy wet food stuck to the plate and stuck in the sink, thereby creating much more work.

Grrrrrrrr. I just want a clean house. Is that too much to ask? Is it really????

Men are bums.

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Originally posted by Drea D:
JUST-CLEAN-SOMETHING. ANYTHING. And it's really not a huge accomplishment when you finally do, sorry to say. It's called basic household sanitation.

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Um - yeah, we are trying & studies have proven that nooky is a fairly effective way of being successful - but maybe I just want a little action? Maybe it is wholly unrelated to GOF and it's just that I need lovin' too?

- Never wanted to see anything but action/adventure movies. My choices were always "too boring" for him.

- Never read anything but comic books and novels that had been made into action/adventure movies.

- Would rarely agree to eat in any restaurant that didn't serve some variation of Chinese or American food.

- Did almost all his shopping in stores that are usually frequented only by tourists.

- Favorite topics of conversation: his hair, his motorcycles, and poker.

- Fell asleep while we were, um, getting busy. Not after--DURING. Several times.

- Moved in with his parents temporarily and is still living there after a year and a half. He is 33, and has a good job, but prefers to spend his money on motorcycles and poker and electronic toys instead of on rent.

- Drove to another state to buy a second motorcycle, searched the entire metro area for an I_Pod Mini for his teenage cousin, and was actively looking for a second laptop computer for himself. Did not, however, "have time" to buy me a birthday gift or even order flowers.

- Harshed on my presidential candidate, but couldn't for the life of him explain why he prefers the other guy.

- When I burst into tears after a hard week, sat in a chair on the other side of the room and just looked at me.

1. The kitties and the dog each have 3 plates of their own. When you open the cabinet to feed them and there are no plates left, do not use my good dishes. WASH THEIR PLATES.

2. After feeding said animals, put food away. Good god, at least put lid back on stinky food.
2b. After feeding/eating is over, please pick dishes up and place in sink located 2 feet from you, within arm's reach. Last night I got up for water and stepped on FOUR dirty pet dishes! (And we only have 3 pets!)

3. When you get up in morning and head off to bathroom, hit the "off" button. NOT the "snooze" button.

4. I know you have a big mouth when you want to, so stop mumbling!

5. After you mow the lawn, please deposit dirty coveralls in laundry area conveniently located near back door. Please do not walk in them up to the bedroom and leave them in a pile on the floor, thus tracking dead grass through the whole house.

6. If you roll your eyes at me one more time I'm not going to marry you. I hate that.

7. If I ask for your opinion, don't say anything along the lines of "why do I always have to decide?!"

8. When you I make fun of your old man nose and ear hair and you say you're gonna trim it, then trim it, and don't get pouty when I make fun of you again the next day b/c it's still there.

9. When I say I'm carsick please do not proceed to go 80mph on the expressway weaving in and out of cars. Thanks.

I'll be back for #10-566.

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Originally posted by pollyhyper:

1. The kitties and the dog each have 3 plates of their own. When you open the cabinet to feed them and there are no plates left, do not use my good dishes. WASH THEIR PLATES.

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As five o'clock approached, I tried his cell, knowing that my truck would be locked in the shop overnight if we didn't get there to pick it up on time.

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Originally posted by pollyhyper:
2b. After feeding/eating is over, please pick dishes up and place in sink located 2 feet from you, within arm's reach. Last night I got up for water and stepped on FOUR dirty pet dishes! (And we only have 3 pets!)

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*Ahem*. See above, and add:

If, when I nag you about picking up the nasty, stinky, tuna select-encrusted plates, (because I do it Every. Single. Day.) and you actually pick them up and put them in the sink, could you (a) brush them off into the trash or something or (b) not rinse 9 L!ves into EVERY DISH IN THE SINK, leaving cat food floaties in all our dishes?? Because really, that makes me wanna puke.

Also - IF I am getting on your case about you not cleaning stuff - don't tell me that I "just have to remind you." Because (a) I you won't do it of your own volition, and you won't do it until I "remind" you several times, so that immediately puts me into the role of nagging shrew, and (b) you are an adult with your own place of residence, I shouldn't HAVE to remind you. If you're mistaking the hairballs blowing down the hallway for the cat? Time to sweep. If the dishes are forming a pile so high in the sink that it's overflowing and covering the whole counter, too, so that no one can prepare food/put anything in the sink to fill it with water? Time to do the dishes. If the trash is coming out of the trashcan, and the stuff you've been piling on top is starting to fall off, and it smells like there's roadkill in there? Time to take the trash out. If there's cat hair and cat littery footprints (ew!) stuck all over the bathroom sink from when you turn the faucet on for the cat to drink out of 'cause you think that's so cute? OMIGOD, cat litter where you brush your TEETH? CLEAN IT UP! Somehow, I know all of these things, and perform all of these tasks on a regular basis. It's not because anyone taught me how when I moved out of my parents', or gave me a "So You're Living On Your Own" pamphlet with a list of things that need cleaned when you live in your own place, and it's not because anyone reminds me. It's because I SEE AND RECOGNIZE DIRT and I don't want to live in filth!!!

And don't tell me we're even 'cause you "straightened" . Putting some stuff in a pile on the table once a month is not the same as doing all the dishes, scrubbing mildew out of the shower, or week-old food off the stove, or cleaning underneath the toilet seat, sorry.

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Originally posted by bekkaboo:
*Ahem*. See above, and add:

If, when I nag you about picking up the nasty, stinky, tuna select-encrusted plates, (because I do it Every. Single. Day.) and you actually pick them up and put them in the sink, could you (a) brush them off into the trash or something or (b) not rinse 9 L!ves into EVERY DISH IN THE SINK, leaving cat food floaties in all our dishes?? Because really, that makes me wanna puke.

Also - IF I am getting on your case about you not cleaning stuff - don't tell me that I "just have to remind you." Because (a) I you won't do it of your own volition, and you won't do it until I "remind" you several times, so that immediately puts me into the role of nagging shrew, and (b) you are an adult with your own place of residence, I shouldn't HAVE to remind you. If you're mistaking the hairballs blowing down the hallway for the cat? Time to sweep. If the dishes are forming a pile so high in the sink that it's overflowing and covering the whole counter, too, so that no one can prepare food/put anything in the sink to fill it with water? Time to do the dishes. If the trash is coming out of the trashcan, and the stuff you've been piling on top is starting to fall off, and it smells like there's roadkill in there? Time to take the trash out. If there's cat hair and cat littery footprints (ew!) stuck all over the bathroom sink from when you turn the faucet on for the cat to drink out of 'cause you think that's so cute? OMIGOD, cat litter where you brush your TEETH? CLEAN IT UP! Somehow, I know all of these things, and perform all of these tasks on a regular basis. It's not because anyone taught me how when I moved out of my parents', or gave me a "So You're Living On Your Own" pamphlet with a list of things that need cleaned when you live in your own place, and it's not because anyone reminds me. It's because I SEE AND RECOGNIZE DIRT and I don't want to live in filth!!!

And don't tell me we're even 'cause you "straightened" . Putting some stuff in a pile on the table once a month is not the same as doing all the dishes, scrubbing mildew out of the shower, or week-old food off the stove, or cleaning underneath the toilet seat, sorry. [This message has been edited by bekkaboo (edited 10-12-2004).]

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The only thing that could've been better than reading this would have been to hear you spew this out loud. My ass is cracking up here at work- first because you're hysterical and and secondly because IT'S SO TRUE.

Aw yeah, give me a few minutes; I'll be back with some more.

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Originally posted by quarkiegirl:
*Water + Cold: How the Ice Cube Tray Magically Fills With Ice

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Y'know how you lose your keys all the freakin' time, and have to search the whole apartment for them swearing and yelling and kicking, with 5 minutes left before you get picked up for work? Well, now tell me if this is too unreasonable, could you maybe NOT throw all my ordered school and thesis notes ALL OVER THE F**KING LIVING ROOM, even though they were in a neat pile, and all you had to do was lift it up, so that when I wake up and come into said living room I don't find my stuff all over the room? Is that too much to ask? I will remind you that it's not MY fault that you lost your keys AGAIN, and thus you should not be ruining my stuff and making EVEN MORE mess that you're not going to clean!! Might I suggest putting your keys in the same place whenever you come home, since you lose them every day? Like maybe in the little key dish that I put by the door specifically for this reason? Or at the very least looking for your keys the night BEFORE so you don't wake me up 3 times between 5:30 and 6:00 by turning on the light to look for your keys? Oh yeah, and you can go on the internet now and reorder my class notes, thank you very much.

Your VERY pissed SO, silly putty.

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Originally posted by Aryn:
Honey, when I say "what?" it means I didn't hear what you said and I'd like you to say it again.

When you say it the exact same way the second time, not speaking louder or more clearly, it doesn't help me hear you better. It just makes me say "what?" a second time.

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And yes... I'm aware I appear deaf. It's usually b/c I have so many other things on my mind that it takes me a second to tune in sometimes. You see, all you're required to do in a day is go to work. I get to do that AND tidy, cook, etc. (Not to say L never does, but he certainly relaxes more than I do).

When you finish a glass jar, don't just leave it by the sink! Rinse it out and put it in the recycling, gnomes will not do it for you!

Don't start reading a novel while I'm having a conversation with you.

You are an adult of normal strength and are capable of filling the brita filter all by yourself. No special training is required. It takes 2 minutes.

Don't bitch at me for leaving lint in the lint screen if you are not going to remove it after your loads either!

And I know you're nice enough to do housework on a regular basis. And I really appreciate it, especially that I only have to remind you once. But you know I am Queen Neat Freak. And it drives me nuts when you say you vacuumed off the couch and curtains, and I still can see clumps of cat hair on both! I know you probably didn't see it, but considering how many times I've harped on this, do you think you could possibly take a second look next time before you put the vacuum away?

And I commiserate with you, Bekka, about the empty boxes in the fridge/cabinets/wherever.

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Originally posted by Aryn:
Honey, when I say "what?" it means I didn't hear what you said and I'd like you to say it again.

When you say it the exact same way the second time, not speaking louder or more clearly, it doesn't help me hear you better. It just makes me say "what?" a second time.

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And also, when I say "what" please respond. I know it makes you SO angry that I didn't hear you, especially if you're mumbling, and you actually believe I did hear you and am just being annoying for no reason, but, yeah, you were mumbling and I really DIDN'T hear you. Which brings me to another point... If we are arguing about something, could you please, PLEASE refrain from muttering things under your breath as you walk away? I know you know how much this pisses me off, and are probably doing it specifically for this reason, but it makes me want to smack you!!!

1) Pick-up your shoes, faries do not come and collect them from around the doors, under the couch or from in my office each night.

2)I know you hate doing dishes, especially silverware, but if you are going to cook and use every. single. utensil. in the kitchen, then it's all you to do the clean up babe.

3) Pick up your towel! Is it really that hard?

4) I know you love to sew/craft and the work you do is nice and makes our home feel more like ours. But I don't like finding little bits of thread, yarn, fabric, pins ect. all over the freakin' house. Or are you scattering these things everywhere in some kind of ritual?

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Originally posted by pollyhyper:
Oooh, we should write up a "So You're Living on Your Own" pamphlet. Or maybe a series of them for men:
[b]
"What is This Sponge For?"
"How the Dish Fairy Saved Dinner"
"Are You My Maid?"
"Under the Couch is NOT a Hiding Spot"
"An Illustrated Guide to Making Instant Tea"(this one's for you Bekkaboo!)
"Pick That Up!"

[/B]

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A)If you only empty half of the dishwasher, it doesn't count. And it makes me confused as to whether they are dirty or clean.

B) When you DO empty the whole dishwasher, is it really so hard to put the dirty dishes in too?

C) Are the clean dishes in the dishdrainer camoflage to you? Is that it? Or do they not count.

D) When you do the dishes, wipe out the freakin' sink when you're done.

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Originally posted by Aryn:
Honey, when I say "what?" it means I didn't hear what you said and I'd like you to say it again.

When you say it the exact same way the second time, not speaking louder or more clearly, it doesn't help me hear you better. It just makes me say "what?" a second time.

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