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 Pooping in Public (Page 1)
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| Author | Topic: Pooping in Public |
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kellyrae Housemate |
posted 09-26-2001 05:57 AM
  
Hee hee. But seriously. My friend told me this horrible horrible story about what happened to her the other day...I swear that its true, you should have heard her tell it. She(L)and her boyfriend had gone to McDonalds for lunch. Then they went shopping at Marshalls (a kind of discount department store for those who dont have them...) Now, you have to understand L. She loves being crude and farting in front of people. Anyways, as she tells it, she was all gearing up for this nice fart in the middle of the store, but when it came, it wasnt just a fart. Yes, my dear friend L pooped her pants in the middle of Marshalls. I swear I'm not making this up. So she waddles over to the underwear section, buys a new pair, and heads for the bathroom, where she has the most horrible, stinky, noisy poop ever. She says people were coming in and gagging and leaving. So anyways, she finishes, but you wanna hear the worst part? She decided she liked those undies she pooped in so she put them in her purse and took them back home! EW! Anyways, that little side story aside, I did have a real point to this thread. Can you guys poop in public? I can do it fine in like restaurants or malls and stuff as long and no one I know is around, and I could do it fine when I lived in the dorms, but I hate to do it here at work... I think my thing is I don't want people I know to hear me pooping (but the dorms didn't bother me because everyone has to poop in the dorms, its your home). Strangers don't bother me, who cares what they think? I just dont like doing it in front of my friends in a non-home situation. I guess in my mind people are wondering why I have to do it there and can't wait till I get home. I dont know. But anyways, whats the deal with you guys? My boyfriend will NOT poop anywhere but his apartment. Is anyone else like that? Also, whats worse? Stinky or noisy? I think noisy. I know I'm crude, its just that kind of morning. IP: Logged |
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KirstenL4W Housemate |
posted 09-26-2001 07:40 AM
I think the noises can be amusing, and if you are with a friend you want to torture, then the smell isnt an issue, but in a public restroom (esp at a restaurant) I'll take noise over stink. And if I really have to go, I will, but generally, I have a problem pooping in public, but I also have Irritable Bowel Syndrome, so maybe its just that I can't relax enough in public to go, or when I do have to go or havent gone for a few days it bothers me to the point that I still cant go. But I have never pooped myself in public, it has always landed in a proper receptacle. If anything like what happened to your friend happened to me, I would move across the country, pronto.
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PennyLane Housemate |
posted 09-26-2001 08:07 AM
Man, your friend has issues in my book. I'm all for pooping in public places if it's a dire thing, but I try to be courteous about it - wait till there is nobody in the restroom, flush every minute, keep noise to a minimum, etc. etc. Also burning a match helps rid that nasty crap smell in the air. I'm sorry, but I think there is a special kind of hell for people who don't give a rats ass about other peoples feelings. IP: Logged |
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LaMantequilla Housesitter |
posted 09-26-2001 08:07 AM
I can't believe she decided to KEEP the dirty underwear!! Anyway, My name is La Mantequilla and I am a poop-a-phobic. I can't do it in public stalls, no matter what the situation. When I lived in the dorms, it took me a really, really long time to be comfortable enough to use the facilities. When people are at my house, I tend to run water in my sink so they can't hear me. I know this is a problem. IP: Logged |
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oubobcat Housemate |
posted 09-26-2001 08:36 AM
That is a hilarious story. I can't believe she kept the underwear. Did she keep her purse? I'm sure that it was pretty rank. I really don't mind pooping in public, as long as I don't know anyone else around me or there is a lot of background noise. What I absolutely hate are the women who miss the toilet. I can not figure out how they do this. I have seen poop just lying on the floor several times in my lifetime in public restrooms. Also, sometimes it gets smeared at the back of the toilet seat. I don't get this either. No matter how bad the emergency, I have never, ever had any problem with missing the toilet. IP: Logged |
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emcarb Housemate |
posted 09-26-2001 09:36 AM
I am like crying here! That is so gross and funny at the same time! I have issues all around. I won't even go at home if I know shaps is anywhere close. Our bathroom is attached to our bedroom, and if I gotta go, I make him leave the bedroom, and close the door. Typically, though, I try to do it when he's not around. If I have to go while I'm at work, I go to a totally differnt floor! IP: Logged |
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heather Housemate |
posted 09-26-2001 10:22 AM
I can't believe we are posting to this! But here goes: I, too, hate using the restroom in public. In fact, I hated even having to pee at school when I was younger! However, I was recently diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis, a form of Irritable Bowel Syndrome, which causes me to have to use the restroom several times a day. Therefore, I no longer have the option of not using public restrooms - in fact sometimes I have to run quickly to them as not to have an 'accident'...horrible horrible horrible... (I'm going camping for the first time this weekend after my diagnosis - god how awful to have to poop in the woods!) IP: Logged |
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bali Housemate |
posted 09-26-2001 10:32 AM
When I went to college I had a deep fear of pooping in public and no matter how I tried I couldn't go in the dorms for fear that someone would come in and, gasp, find out I pooped. So I would wait until like 11pm and sneak into the classroom buildings across the street to go. Sad I know. I am much better now. I lived in India for a while and honestly 60% of our daily conversation revolved around our bowels! It was gross. IP: Logged |
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Maggie Housemate |
posted 09-26-2001 01:38 PM
What a relief!!! My boyfriend is not insane. He will not go anywhere but at our house or his parents. It even took him awhile to go in our house after we first moved in together. We have even had to cut our plans short at times because we have been out all day and he has put it off as long as he can. Even then he still refuses to go in public. He drives me absolutely insane with this sometimes. I won't go at work though as we only have one ladies room and very few ladies so if you leave a smell or clog it up everyone jumps to accuse the other. Also, I'm constantly worried someone will walk in on me. Not exactly a flattering picture unless you are Jennie McCarthy I suppose. IP: Logged |
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fluffygurl Housesitter |
posted 09-27-2001 05:14 AM
Hey Heather I have Ulcerative Colitis too. Isnt it the pits. Often times I have found myself literally running round like a headless chicken looking for the bathroom in the city *sigh* I cant belive we are all replying to this lol IP: Logged |
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heather Housemate |
posted 09-27-2001 09:29 AM
Hey fluffygirl - just curious as to what medication you are taking... I have had U.C. for about three months now and after a hellist first month and a half I am in recession ...whew! IP: Logged |
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fluffygurl Housesitter |
posted 09-29-2001 05:52 PM
Well I tried a few meds that my doc put me on but I found I felt really shitty on them so now Im going to a homeopath which is really working I always thought alternative stuff was a bit kooky but guess Ive been proved wrong. If you have problems with your meds I would suggest going to a alternative health practitioner. Its amazing the difference it can make IP: Logged |
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Chameleon Housemate |
posted 10-30-2001 07:04 AM
Hilarious topic. When I was in college, I lived in a house with like 55 other girls. There were three bathrooms, one on each floor, three stalls in each. This was all just fine except whoever designed the house decided it would be unnecessary to put up anything more than a divider between each stall! There was a single swinging half-door that led to the hall o' stalls, but nothing else. One girl who wouldn't use the bathroom there at all, ever. Instead, she'd hike 5 blocks to the foreign language building and use theirs. IP: Logged |
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lesliele Housemate |
posted 10-30-2001 09:03 AM
Ha! Ha! Ha!! I found out something very funny about my SO this weekend and had to share... He told me that he puts down a couple pieces of toilet paper in the water BEFORE taking a poo so that there is something for it to land on and he won't get a splash. LOL I was almost crying I laughed so hard when he told me that!! Has anyone ever heard of anyone doing this?? Or is he the freak that I think he is? ~Les IP: Logged |
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MartiniAngst Housemate |
posted 10-30-2001 10:00 PM
Wow. Ironically, I don't have a problem pooping in public, but I do have a problem peeing. I guess it's that "I have to GO!" feeling, but why it operates on my bowels and not my bladder is beyond me. This topic unearthed a memory: I remember someone at a dinner party (!) saying that taking a dump was the most underrated pleasure on earth. (Not as random as it sounds, you had to be there.) I agreed with him, but silently, not verbally. IP: Logged |
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BionicGirl Housemate |
posted 03-21-2002 08:03 AM
***bump!*** Bumping this because, well, because... It's about poop, and poop is funny. Also PennyLane said "who gives a rat's ass" and I was really ahppy about that little synchronicity and to see that the phrase really is being used to some degree. This reminded me of one Christmas when my friends & I all took a short trip to this insane place called "SantaLand." It was a 3-hour drive and at one point the conversation lulled so we all took turns telling a poop story. It was pretty hilarious, and I learned some new things about my friends that day, that's for sure. Good grief, I can't believe this thread exists! IP: Logged |
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chebbah Housemate |
posted 03-21-2002 09:28 AM
I don't have any kind of phobia about pooping in public restrooms, but I have NEVER known a single guy that didn't have that phobia. Some are worse than others, but I think as a general rule men avoid pooing in public restrooms like it was the plague. I just don't see the big deal. People crap, it's a fact of life. I don't think it's great, but I'm not going to hold it in until I get home, you know? I mean, bathrooms weren't designed for people to just pee in them. I can't believe your friend kept those undies though... that's hysterical. I'm sure she must have washed them out in the bathroom sink first, at least I hope so. Yuck. I have this one friend who can only poop at home or in single person public restrooms. He will actually leave a bar, go home and poop and then some back to the bar. He wants to see if he can get one of those handicapped placards for his car so he can park close to places... just in case. He swears it's like a medical condition. Sarah IP: Logged |
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pyrabug Housemate |
posted 03-21-2002 09:39 AM
http://www.dooce.com/03_19_02.html this woman is hilarious. this thead reminded me of her latest journal entry about the difference between how men and ladies use the bathroom. i hate using public bathrooms. i am so relieved that i live in my own apartment this year and don't have to deal with the communal bathrooms in the dorms. those were truly nasty. IP: Logged |
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greschya Housemate |
posted 03-21-2002 11:01 AM
I thought of this thread a few weeks ago . . . I was on campus, and I live about 35 minutes from school, so it wasn't like I could run home real quick, and I had to be there for another 4 hours, so I had to bite the bullet and just do it. I almost cried when I found the perfect secret bathroom behind the caf in the union -- it's tucked away just far enough that apparently no one knows about it, and anytime I've had to use it, I have NEVER seen anyone else in there. It's beautiful. Put me an hour or more away from a "safe zone" and I have no qualms, at all. But if I'm in my office and I know I'm leaving in an hour or so, I can totally hold off until I get home. My god, I cant believe I had this much to say. IP: Logged |
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suzette Housemate |
posted 03-21-2002 11:06 AM
I have a friend that will wait until she gets to work, because she likes the idea of getting paid to poop.  IP: Logged |
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yfy Housemate |
posted 03-21-2002 12:01 PM
um... I can, but I don't like to. If it is completely necessary, like emergency status, then, fine, ok. I too, check the stalls and wait for people to leave. I refuse to even utilize the bathroom in which someone can't make the basket when the basket is 30 times the size of the ball. Yuck yuck yuck Now I must tell the story: Joe and I were in a waffle house. I needed to use the restroom. I enter the restroom; there is poo on the floor, the whole room smells like a herd of skunk. I almost leave the restaurant, but my need to eat something was too great. IP: Logged |
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acsst30 Housemate |
posted 03-21-2002 12:25 PM
ok this topic just cracks me up.....
quote: actually my brother brought that up, one day, that he does that....i laughed so i hard i nearly peed my pants!! maybe it's a guy thing? i'll go anywhere....hey, everyone does it and everyone's poop stinks. it's probably not healthy to hold it in so long anyway? about your friend....that's nasty that she kept the underwear!!! even if she washes them they'll have stains....ewwwww! IP: Logged |
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scout Housemate |
posted 03-21-2002 12:27 PM
quote: oh my god, that is so twisted and funny, i love it!!! IP: Logged |
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mjo Housemate |
posted 03-21-2002 12:43 PM
Ok well her it goes.....I may gag while telling this story. My bf and his friend were folfing and mind you they love farting no matter where they are. He says "listen to this" so my bf looks over and says " what" so he farts and oh yes did the same thing as in the first post. So he goes into the woods finds a stream, cleans his boxers off and yup keeps them ewwww!!!!! Isn't that gross. When they got home it was the topic of conversation oh for about 5 days. IP: Logged |
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BionicGirl Housemate |
posted 03-21-2002 12:56 PM
quote: I realized by the end of your post that you meant golfing, but at first I thought folfing must be some sort of silly slang for "alternative" sex acts... like a Dirty Sanchez or a Bonus Egg or something. (I decline in advance to explain those if you don't already know what they are.) IP: Logged |
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Caterwaul Housemate |
posted 03-21-2002 02:26 PM
quote:
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Chele75 Housemate |
posted 03-21-2002 03:07 PM
I think what's funniest about this topic...is the picture in my head that I have of Yeefan and the other moderators reading this thread. [This message has been edited by Chele75 (edited 03-21-2002).] IP: Logged |
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amandafaith Housemate |
posted 03-21-2002 03:39 PM
Okay, this is going to sound terrible, and I can't believe I'm telling you this, but . . . my boyfriend likes to fart on the cat. Mind you, he'll do just about anything if it will get me to laugh. One night, he discovered that if he squatted and made a face before farting it would make me laugh. So then he had to one up that by squatting over the cat, who promptly ran away (I think the noise startled her). And if you couldn't see this coming, he decided the only way to one up THAT one was to physically pick up the cat and hold her to his bum while he tooted. It sounds awful, but it's the most hillarious thing. Poor Lizzie just lays there limply- she'll do anything for chachi's attention. [This message has been edited by amandafaith (edited 03-21-2002).] IP: Logged |
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yeefan Head of the House |
posted 03-21-2002 03:47 PM
This topic still cracks me up! IP: Logged |
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ennui Housemate |
posted 03-21-2002 05:09 PM
Oh - amandafaith - I am wiping tears from my eyes. IP: Logged |
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abracadabra Housemate |
posted 03-21-2002 07:35 PM
haha! good grief. i have to say, i have never heard a bunch of women discuss this topic before, and i went to a women's college. granted, i'm easily disgusted so maybe people just decided not to share with me... i guess if we can't poop in front of our friends, it must be pretty hard to talk about doing it face to face as well... laughing my ass off still. Poor kitty! IP: Logged |
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BionicGirl Housemate |
posted 03-22-2002 07:07 AM
quote: Well... I will say that, appropriately enough, they both have to do with poop (and I didn't even plan that, hee hee!). I don't know, there are those like abacadabra that might be bothered. And there's just something about typing it for all the world to see... IP: Logged |
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ragazzina Housemate |
posted 03-22-2002 07:21 AM
poor little lizzie. I have to admit, even I don't know what a Bonus Egg is. And I don't want to, either. Not an experience I'm ever going to share with anyone, I'd like to bet. IP: Logged |
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Chameleon Housemate |
posted 03-22-2002 10:07 AM
Ack. Someone told me once what those two terms meant. (Of course, it was a guy  ) Totally a mental image I didn't want to remember!!!
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crowjoy Housemate |
posted 03-22-2002 12:01 PM
Ok, but you started it. This may be a bit off topic, but the subject is right on... I have a friend who is WAY intense, mostly in an incredibly cool and excellent way but she's not someone you want screaming in your face. Anyway, on a cross-country trip she stopped at a convenience store to poop. And they wouldn't let her use the restroom. So she did it in the parking lot. Uh huh. Like I said... IP: Logged |
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janky Housemate |
posted 03-22-2002 12:26 PM
I haven't tried the toilet paper trick so that it muffles the sound but I do use the "strategic courtesy flush". If you have good timing and the toilet is a long flusher you can do your business and it goes right down and out before the smell can linger. I wish a few more people would adapt that practice.... or at least light a match! I find that now through some psycho phenomenon when I pull into my driveway my bladder just busts. I have to sprint to get into the house and on the toilet before I wet myself. The funny thing is 20 seconds before I pull in I didn't have to tinkle at all! This is getting to be a daily brutal situation I can't even stop to check the mail for fear I will pee my pants. IP: Logged |
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pyrabug Housemate |
posted 03-23-2002 01:59 PM
janky that happens to me too! as soon as i open my front door i have a huge urge. i have no idea what it is. it used to happen when i was in school, whenever i get off the bus and walk to my house. but when i got on the bus, nothing. weird. IP: Logged |
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Epicurus Housemate |
posted 03-23-2002 04:18 PM
quote: The forest is my favorite place to drop a steamin' grumpy. There is no better way to start off your day than to wake up in the crisp mountain air, grab the bright orange plastic trowel, your TP, and a pack of matches and trek off on your own to find a nice comfy fallen tree where you can commune with nature. Some of you have said that guys seem more likely to avoid voiding their bowels in public. That may be true, but not for the reasons you think. It's because we are oppressed by society in the toilet the same way we are oppressed by society in public. I have no issues with blasting a dookie in a public john per se. My problem is with trying to be polite. When I'm at home (or in the woods), I just let nature take it's course. It's like a musical composition full of bass rumbles and sopranos trills. Like a good symphony, the average man's dump can bring him from the pits of despair to the soaring heights of bliss--and the finale is a sigh of relief and a good long shot of Glade Odor Neutralizer. But for some reason our society dictates that a bowel movement shouldn't be a noisy, smelly, enjoyable thing--even if that's the way guys like it. So, we get all worried about not making noise in a public toilet. We get worried that someone might find out that our crap stinks--as if anybody on this planet in the two million years we've been walking ever once dropped a load that smelled like fresh baked chocolate chip cookies. It's just another example of today's society forcing guys to behave contrary to their nature. And like all those instances where men are told that what they enjoy is wrong, it causes us nothing but grief. When I was a lad in Boy Scouts, we would applaud each other for particularly loud/odiferous BMs at camp. If you were off in the woods or in the latrine and someone could actually hear you or smell you it was a matter of pride and honor. It could become the stuff of legends. "Hey, remember that time Epi was taking a dump in Ocala and he scared the deer out of it's hiding spot and it ran right through our campsite? God, that was great." IP: Logged |
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Epicurus Housemate |
posted 03-23-2002 04:26 PM
quote: Bwwaaaahahahahahahaha!!! Oh god, it hurts. It hurts. High praise to you for not only letting Chachi be a Guy, but also for rewarding him positively for it. See, this is what I mean. A guy who's allowed to be a guy is the happiest kind of person. The fact that Chachi is allowed to fart on the cat will make him even more dedicated to the relationship because, let's face it, most women would never in a million years let a man blow ass on their kitty. Amandafaith, you are an special kind of enlightened. When will the rest of womankind catch up with you? IP: Logged |
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mjo Housemate |
posted 03-25-2002 08:35 AM
Just to let everyone know I did mean to type folfing. It's actually frisbee golfing, big in the west. If you've seen the Tao of Steve, they play it in the yard. That's all the boys do in the summer here. That and wakeboarding. When they had the little instance w/ the pooping of pants I'm sure they were maybe semi drunk. Usually people arrive to the course w/ a six pack in one hand and the disk in the other. It's actually very fun!! IP: Logged |
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