Love the site Foxy (can't get used to the Jacquelyn ) ... too cute, and as always, you just crack me up. I can't wait to see more of the pix as you get closer to the wedding day.

Although when dress shopping, I did put in some serious hours on those sites. See my "Bored at work" post. This is how I spend most of my time -- planning our October 19 wedding.

Trick is -- we're already married. We snuck off to City Hall (which is actually the municipal building here in NYC) and did the deed so he could enjoy full insurance. Ah, the life of a freelancer!

leanne, I'm making Dave make CDs for the wedding too. The idea of the macarena and the Backstreeties haunting my pretty little reception traumatizes me. Hah! Any ideas you have -- send them this way!

As I'm sitting here and listening to people ask me if I'm freaking out yet, I wonder is there anything major we have forgotten.

I've got the dress, ordered bridemaid dresses, got the tuxes, church and ordered invitations. The readings are picked, all of the peoples have been asked to help Is there anything major else we need to do?

The only thing I'm worried about is getting the license, and making sure we can get hitched in the Church.

I've entered into a quandry: What should we do during the reception?
I need help figuring out how to progress the afternoon. I've never been to weddings where there isn't a dance. What do you do? There won't be a first dance, or a garter toss. Any ideas? Music selections? Things to do?

Here's some of the info for the wedding. We're getting married a 1 p.m. The reception is afterwards at the local sportsmen club on a pennisula on the lake. The building is where we'll eat etc. and there is a grassy area and place for people to go outside and playground equipment for the little kids.
We are not having a dance, but what will go on during the reception?

Riah: personally, I wouldn't worry too much about finding stuff for people to do during the reception, activities-wise ... even without dancing, people generally are so busy catching up with old friends and family that they find more than enough to entertain themselves with. I've only been to one wedding where there was no dancing (although my brother's next year won't have any either), and nobody really missed it.

As for what will happen at the reception, I imagine you're still planning to do toasts and the cake cutting? At my own wedding and the weddings I've been to, the reception generally begins with the new Mr. and Mrs. making a grand entrance and being announced to the crowd. Toasts normally begin just before dinner/right after people are seated, but since it sounds like you're doing a more casual meal, toasts could happen anytime early on in the reception. The cake cutting generally doesn't happen until well into the reception (probably more than half way through) -- traditionally, people don't like to do it too early because it's sort of the last official thing to happen during the wedding day, and is therefore sort of a signal to guests that it's okay to leave soon after.

If you can, it's really helpful to have a trustworthy friend/relative who's good at managing a crowd to sort of facilitate the process of the day -- i.e. make the official announcement when you guys arrive at the reception, let the crowd know when you're about to cut the cake, etc.

Anyway, your day's going to be beautiful and perfect, so try not to stress about it too much!

Is there an "off" season, in which wedding dresses could potentialy be cheaper?

Had you eaten ice cream for years you would have eventually discovered that:
~really, you're a rocky road kinda guy
~chocolate ice cream, after a few years, is actually a bit repulsive
~after years of eating chocolate ice cream, you've just realised that it makes you fat, zitty, flatulent and phlegmy

Honestly, congrats, I am sure you know what you are doing embarking on the grand adventure that is love and life but, some of us don't wait till our relationship requires a new milestone - some of us require a good long road-test under real world conditions before deciding that, yes, spending the rest of our lives together is something we can accomplish.

Love feels great, but a marriage (really, a life together) is an almost infinite collection of small habits.

Congratulations, dannyboy! many years of happiness to you both!

I'm invited to my friends' wedding in a few weeks. Looking more closely at the invitation last night, I'm starting to get the feeling I'm only invited to the ceremony and the reception... there was no mention of the dinner, except for on the "programme" or whatever.

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Originally posted by Joanna:
But again, "reception" in my experience has always included "meal".

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I think that also depends on the time of day. I've been to weddings that were later in the evening and the reception was kind of like a cocktail party with hors d'oeurves, but not a meal per se. I've also been to some in the daytime where the reception ended before dinnertime.

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Originally posted by BionicGirl:
My guess is a 7:30 there will be food there even if it's not a full-on meal.

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I've never heard of having both a dinner and a reception, though. Were they referring to the rehearsal dinner, maybe?

Edited to add that I didn't see Dewgirl's comment about dinner at 6:00 until after I posted this, so disregard that whole rehearsal dinner thing.

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Originally posted by Dewgirl:
Hmm... I've never seen that before... it clearly states on the programme that dinner is at 6:00pm....

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You go to the ceremony (which at this wedding, is at 1:30), and then to the hall for cocktails (invite says 5:00...that's a lot of lag time, it seems...) while the wedding party has their pictures taken. Then you have dinner (6:00). The food is all cleared away, you have cake, that is cleared away as well, and then you have the reception (7:30), which is usually drinking and dancing - I've never seen food at a reception.

Generally, a wedding invite will list the time of all the events (this is the "We, Joe and Jane Doe, present our daughter...."), and included in the envelope will be a reply card which gives you several choices of what you'd like for dinner and how many you will be bringing, and another card (usually attached) on which you state whether you'll be attending the reception, and how many people you'll be bringing.

I only got the reception card... nothing for the dinner.

Hope that helps

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Originally posted by kellyrae:
Uh, seems just a tad bit tacky to me. So, what, are you like a B-list guest?

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That's what I'm wondering. She's a good friend of mine too, and her soon-to-be husband is the sweetheart of our sorority, so, its not like I'm a stranger...

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Originally posted by Joanna:
Huh. I have never heard of that. To me, and at all the weddings I've attended, reception includes the cocktail hour, the presentations, the dinner, the cake, and the dancing.

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Wow! Doesn't that get... confusing? How do you know how many people will be eating or what they will want?

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Originally posted by Joanna:
Huh. I have never heard of that. To me, and at all the weddings I've attended, reception includes the cocktail hour, the presentations, the dinner, the cake, and the dancing.

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I forgot to add that maybe they just aren't having a choice in the meal department, thus, no need for a choice card.

I think I am going to ask around to some of my other sisters that got invited and see what sort of invites they got... see if mine was different than everyone elses (which would mean a likely mix-up, although as Joanna(?) said, there's no good way to approach her about it if there was) or if all of us have not gotten dinner invites, and see how the other guests interpreted it.

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Originally posted by Dewgirl:
You're right, BG (did you ever think you'd hear me say that?)... I guess I am being kind of petty to be miffed about not getting a dinner invite. It is their day, after all.

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I didn't mean to imply that you were being petty! I guess I just get really turned off by "social rules" so I try to be laid back about stuff like that, especially after hearing horror stories from friends about the battles that ensued between wedding party members, family, and some old shriveled aunt that got her panties in a wad. There's just too much to think about!

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Originally posted by Dewgirl:
LOL @ BG... you make it sound like the way we hold our weddings are so staunchy

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Well, compared to mine.

Frankly, that kind of wedding mildly disgusts me -too much work and expense for so short a time. I mean, you could finance a home for what you pay for a modern wedding! And attending one of these tumourously overgrown extravaganzas of conspicuous consumerism is exhausting with it's formal timetable (ceremony at 1, wait around from 2:30 till 5 until the reception hall opens, wait around for the meal to begin, wait around for 150 people to be fed at great expense, wait through the invariably badly written and delivered speeches, jokes, toasts, listen to the most horrid music for 3 or 4 hours, agonize about whether it's too early to make an exit, whether you can drive after all the booze, etc...) Well, some weddings are more fun than others, true, and most weddings have a few fun moments, but the more formal they are, in my experience, the more dreadful they are for everyone involved, including the poor guests.

And this has directly led to our still only semi-planned elopement to Las Vegas or Niagara Falls (which is only a 30 min. drive away from here) where I can escape from every conceivable b.s. social requirement and focus on what is really important to me: looking into Sean's eyes while I tell him all the reasons why I want to still be beside him when I'm an old lady.

The more I delved into the possiblity of a even passingly traditional ceremony, the more disgusted by the whole business I became. Oh well, others certainly feel different than I do.

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Originally posted by leanne:
Well, some weddings are more fun than others, true, and most weddings have a few fun moments, but the more formal they are, in my experience, the more dreadful they are for everyone involved, including the poor guests.

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Wow, does everyone feel this way? I've never been to anything but a formal wedding, but I love them! And I loved planning my wedding up until, well, I cancelled it I would feel really uncomfortable at anything less, I think... to me (and please don't yell, this is just my opinion) an informal wedding would give the impression to me that the couple didn't consider the marriage to be that big a deal.

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Originally posted by leanne:
And this has directly led to our still only semi-planned elopement to Las Vegas or Niagara Falls (which is only a 30 min. drive away from here) where I can escape from every conceivable b.s. social requirement and focus on what is really important to me: looking into Sean's eyes while I tell him all the reasons why I want to still be beside him when I'm an old lady.

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Leanne, I'm in total agreement with you (for me personally). While I probably could have gone either way and had a small ceremony or eloped, I don't think I would have gone for the big wedding. The somewhat rigid social expectations sucked all the magic out of it for me. But I really liked it being just A and I (and the little 15-yr-old criminal witness, which cracks me up, I love to see people's faces when I tell them that part). But it's different for everyone. I can also understand wanting to make a huge ta-do over it, that's just not for me.

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Originally posted by leanne:
My sis is creating her own backyard, nighttime, cocktails-only ceremony and reception and it should turn out to be quite magical. Candles and twinkly lights under a summer star filled sky - close family and closest friends - handmade everything - a comfortable setting. She's serving sangrias (alcoholic and non-) instead of all other libations and hiring a friend to do some hors d'oerves (which the little sisters of the maid of honour will distribute). I think that it will be a very beautiful and true example of the coming together of a community of family and friends that this marriage respresents.

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That sounds wonderful.

The Ongoing Saga of Leanne and Sean's Wedding and Sean's Evil Granny:

Well, old evil granny visits for the first three weeks of August. We have been told we are not allowed to get married before she arrives or while she is here, nor are we allowed to tell her we are eloping, that we have any plans at all for the wedding, and further, she must not know that we live together.

Apparently she is a militant Catholic who would cut Sean off from any inheritance and not speak to his mother ever again if she even caught a whiff of our "unholy union".

She has never met 2 of her great-grandchildren because they were born out of wedlock and she punished two other of her daughters when their sons married woman in civil ceremonies. She's kinda nasty in general, too. (ie. The first time we met, the first thing she said , before I had even said hello, was "I thought you said she was a redhead?!" As if I had turned out to be Jewish and she Adolph's mom - Ya, nice to meet you too, I thought you were a human.)

I think it's unfair to me and weak of Sean and his family to put up with such unloving behaviour, but then they're enablers going way back, so I'm not surprised that they do it.

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Originally posted by Dewgirl:
I think... to me (and please don't yell, this is just my opinion) an informal wedding would give the impression to me that the couple didn't consider the marriage to be that big a deal.

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No yelling, I promise just my humble opinion...

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Originally posted by leanne:
Bonus Rant (sorry, I think the hormones have cycled to "bitch week" in prep for the obvious...):

The Ongoing Saga of Leanne and Sean's Wedding and Sean's Evil Granny:

Well, old evil granny visits for the first three weeks of August. We have been told we are not allowed to get married before she arrives or while she is here, nor are we allowed to tell her we are eloping, that we have any plans at all for the wedding, and further, she must not know that we live together.

Apparently she is a militant Catholic who would cut Sean off from any inheritance and not speak to his mother ever again if she even caught a whiff of our "unholy union".

She has never met 2 of her great-grandchildren because they were born out of wedlock and she punished two other of her daughters when their sons married woman in civil ceremonies. She's kinda nasty in general, too. (ie. The first time we met, the first thing she said , before I had even said hello, was "I thought you said she was a redhead?!" As if I had turned out to be Jewish and she Adolph's mom - Ya, nice to meet you too, I thought you were a human.)

I think it's unfair to me and weak of Sean and his family to put up with such unloving behaviour, but then they're enablers going way back, so I'm not surprised that they do it.

Does anyone have any thoughts on the situation? I really only have Sean to talk to it about and he's kind of biased.

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Well, I wouldn't be too happy with it either... and it seems like the obvious motivation (from the way you described it) is to ensure the place in the will, which kind of makes me cringe. If she's someone that isn't a big part of your/his lives and you will only see her every now and then, I can see how it's just easier to play along too. It's a matter of picking your battles, I guess. There's plenty that A's family does that I get defiant about, but I have to concede that he knows his family the best and who am I to come barging in and expect to change the whole dynamic for my comfort? It's a tricky balance. When something comes up that I am just REALLY not comfotable with, we find a compromise. But I guess the question for you is, do you feel so strongly about it that rocking the boat will be worth it? Otherwise I'd just suck up and play along and vent to us and your other friends that recognize how silly it is!

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Originally posted by Dewgirl:
Wow, does everyone feel this way? I've never been to anything but a formal wedding, but I love them! And I loved planning my wedding up until, well, I cancelled it I would feel really uncomfortable at anything less, I think... to me (and please don't yell, this is just my opinion) an informal wedding would give the impression to me that the couple didn't consider the marriage to be that big a deal.

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Oops, I was posting at the same time and didn't see this right away. I generally find big weddings to be terribly boring, although I have been to a few that were exceptions. Regarding your last statement about that you feel like the couple didn't consider it a big deal... well, I don't really know how to respond to that, especially considering the type of wedding I had. It seems a bit judgemental and demeaning, which I will choose NOT to be offended by. However, you and anyone else are welcome to assume whatever you want, because I stand by my assertion that it's not about what everyone else thinks, it's about the couple. I find it sad and disappointing that someone might feel that way about my marriage, but so be it. It was a beautiful moment for me and for A, and it was right for our personalities and our situation. And like I said in my most previous post, the rigid expectations and trying to please everyone that goes along with a big wedding just zapped the pleasure out of it for me.