You also have to look at how the property values are changing in the area that you want to buy in. We have areas here in Houston that are going up 10% or more a year. We have others that are totally flat or even going down a bit.

Closing costs when you buy will be at least 2% of the purchase price - plus your down payment. Closing costs when you sell will be at least 7% of the selling price. If things turn around to a buyers market, they could be higher.

People generally buy more than they were renting. You'll spend more on decorating, landscaping, maintainance, etc. That's all reasonable, but those dollars are real.

Since you know that you will be moving in 3 years or so, why not live frugally, invest your savings and put your money into the house you want to stay in - in 3 years.

Just my $.02,

Ok, here's the situation. Back in September my boyfriend and I decided to move in together this coming summer. I was all blissfully happy and excited about sharing a space with him for the first time. A few weeks ago we looked at an apartment together. The next day, he comes to me saying he wants to buy a townhouse or condo instead of renting.

He had talked to his parents, and they said that they would help us buy a townhouse, and their neighbor just happened to be selling one. I asked him to find out more information (for example, what does "help" mean). The next time he sees them, he gets more info, and now I'm really upset and totally questioning this whole idea.

His parents said they would loan him money for the downpayment, but not me. So basically he would own more of the house, because I'll be right out of college and can't contribute much to a downpayment. I'd either own little to none of the place legally, or I'd have to pay all of the mortgage payment to own some of it. Neither is attractive to me at all, and I am really hurt that his parents and he would even suggest such a thing. What do I get out of the deal?

So basically, I'm thinking we don't buy until we're at least engaged. I would be more comfortable with this situation if I wasn't worried about getting screwed in the deal if we broke up. (Not that we would, we've been together for four years).

Sounds pretty reasonable to me. Or even "we own 50/50, or we don't do it at all, because that makes me really uncomfortable."

Also, keep in mind that downpayment is in addition to closing costs and home owners insurance etc. (which can get wrapped into the mortgage amount). Make sure that if you guys seriously consider it that you get the quote from a lender that tells you what your total monthly payment will be (not just the loan portion of it)...remember that utilities will be on top of that too!

What price range are you/bf thinking about? If half of the 10% downpayment is within what you can afford, then you might be able to swing it.

But definitely don't feel pressured to buy! It's a big pain in the butt, and if you're feeling stressed out before you even start looking at houses...then it may not be the best idea to do just yet.

I'm not sure it's best to push for 50/50 ownership of the place either. Would you be able to pay the mortgage if he were unable to make his portion? You would certainly be liable for the mortgage in that case (just as you'd be liable for the month's rent if you were renting but at least renting isn't a 30-year commitment and it's much easier to get out of a lease than it is to sell a place). I certainly agree with ginsu that it may not be the "right" time to buy. I can't imagine buying a place right out of college especially if I had any student loans but then, I'm the extra cautious type.

Personally, I wouldn't buy a place (i.e. have both names on the title and the mortgage) with someone who I am not married to - much too much of a potential mess. I knew someone at work who did - they broke up and it was a huge hassle getting the house squared away: she wanted to keep it, he wanted to sell. The second time he bought the house on his own.

I do find it interesting that you'd be living next door to his parents. Would they still be willing to do the downpayment regardless of the location of the place?

red, 7 months?!? Wow. In the States, it varies from state to state. Here in Texas, after 7 years of living together (I think), the couple is considered married under common law. They are also considered married if they hold themselves out to be married at any time i.e. if they lead someone else to believe that they are married, regardless of how long they have been together. Texas is also a joint property state so assets are divided equally between the two people in the case of divorce which means that it does become very important to hold out as separate assets that you wouldn't want to go to the other person.

After some long talks, and careful consideration of the advice given here, we've decided to wait. I really don't want to get involved in all this messy mortgage stuff, and don't have the money for a 20%, or even 10% downpayment (plus all those added fees, like closing costs). With graduating at the end of this semester and making the plunge to living together, I think we have enough changes going on.