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copyright ©1999-2001
DigsMagazine.com.
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05.16.2001:
Etiquette
Schmetiquette
common-sense manners for real-world living |
1 2 3
continued from page 1
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Housewarming
registry?
Q:
Is it appropriate to register for housewarming gifts at a home/garden
store and to include that on invitations to a house warming party you
are giving?
Thanks, D.
A:
I’ll be honest here: I’d never heard of anyone registering
for a housewarming party before, but then again, and I’m
embarrassed to admit this, it took me a couple of apartment-warmings
before I even realized that I was supposed to be bringing gifts
(beyond the usual food or drink, of course; I was never a complete
boor!). But lo and behold, one learns something new everyday.
After doing a little research, I discovered that these days,
some folks have indeed co-opted that etiquette-sanctioned
wedding registry tradition for the purposes of housewarming
soirées. Well, will wonders never cease?
My feeling is this: while these days, it is probably perfectly acceptable
to register for housewarming gifts, I personally wouldn’t
bother. Unless a friend is throwing the party in your honor and is
willing to actively spread news of the registry details for you,
there’s no socially proper way for you to let guests know that
you’ve registered. As is the case with even wedding
registries, it’s always considered poor social etiquette to
include a reference to where you’ve registered in your actual
invitation. With weddings, everyone knows that they’re
supposed to bring a gift, and thus chances are good that they’ll
take it upon themselves to inquire about whether a registry
exists. With a housewarming party, on the other hand, it is
entirely possible that the vast majority of your friends –
assuming they’re the typical sort of quasi-adults who, while
perfectly kind and thoughtful individuals, simply missed out on
charm school as youths – won’t even realize that a small
gift is expected. Much less think to ask about that registry you’ve
taken the time to set up at Bed, Bath and Beyond.
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In my experience, so few twentysomethings are aware of the finer
nuances of established housewarming etiquette (i.e. arriving
with gift) that it’s best to treat the housewarming as just
another excuse for a party. Plus a chance for you to show off
your new nest, of course!
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