DigsMagazine.com be the perfect host/ess .

what's for dinner?

take the poll





a home + living guide for the post-college, pre-parenthood, quasi-adult generation


editor's note 

o lounge 
o nourish 
o host

o send an ECARD

submit your ideas

hostess with the mostest? Jump to the boards and talk.

copyright 1999-2003

08.21.2003: Etiquette Schmetiquette
common-sense manners for real-world living
1 2 3
continued from page 1

eek forgot to send the 
thank-you cards! ...
Dear Etiquette Schmettiqute: I feel like a terrible, terrible person. I got married around 10 months ago. After the honeymoon, I came down with a nasty case of bronchitis and was unable to function normally for a month. Well, one thing led to another, and, well...we never got the thank-you cards in the mail. Is there any way for me to gracefully (or not-so-gracefully) correct this so that I can look my relatives in the eye again?

A: You are not a terrible person. You've made a little etiquette oops, sure, but these things happen to most of us at one point or another in our lives, and there's no point in beating yourself up over it. When it comes to thank you cards, though, late is far, far better than never. So suck up the embarrassment, set aside some good, quality note-writing time, and apologize profusely for the lateness of your cards. Make it sincere, make it meaningful, make it substantial. The penance for super-late notecards is that you really ought to make it a superlative note. Procrastinators just can't get away with sending off the usual generic "Thank you for the gift. It was good to see you." If you want a further assurance that your Aunt Martha doesn't hold a grudge against you forever, include a nice wedding photo or two along with the note.

rsvp slackers
If invited guests to a bridal shower do not rsvp, is it appropriate to call them and find out if they are attending? What is etiquette regarding this situation? A few people that I have talked to said they are attending but didn't send a reply. I am afraid that there might be more people coming that I don't know about and I don't know how much food to prepare.

A: If a guest can't take the thirty seconds to rsvp to an invitation within a reasonable amount of time, by all means, call them up and pester them to give you an answer one way or another. Party planning is hard work, and it's a pain in the butt trying to figure out how much food and drink you need when you don't know whether you'll be hosting 10 hungry guests or 30. If someone has told you in person that they will be attending, then I think it's safe to assume that they will indeed be there to enjoy the festivities, but if folks are just being wishy-washy about it, just let them know that you need to go shopping for food/get a definite count for the caterer, and that you'll need them to give you an answer right away.

skedaddle this way for more!

---------------------------> lounge . nourish . host . laze . home .