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wedding guest blunders ... A: I
like to fancy myself a reasonably understanding sort of person,
and am generally the last person to get her knickers in a twist
when someone unintentionally commits an etiquette faux-pas,
particularly when the consequences of the violation are pretty
much nil in the grand scheme of things. But as someone who’s
gone through the stress of planning a wedding, I have to say
that it is a very, very, very vexing thing indeed to have to
chase down guests who are too damn lazy to just pop that RSVP
card in the mail and provide a timely response. I mean,
seriously, how difficult is it to fill out that card and throw
it into a mailbox? They’re self-addressed and pre-stamped, for
god’s sake! So, sorry, but “guy thing” just doesn’t cut
it for me. I can think of no reason whatsoever that anyone could
provide for not RSVPing to any event where a response was
specifically requested, barring “I’m a lazy, rude person who
can’t take the two seconds out of my apparently monumentally
busy life to fill in my name, check off the “can’t make
it” box, and leave the card for my mailman to pick up.” For me, there’s a little
more leeway regarding the necessity of giving a gift when you’re not
attending a wedding, as I don’t think gifts should ever, ever be
required of ANY guests – I know it’s cliché, but when it comes to
inviting friends and relatives to a wedding, I really do think presence
is so much more important than presents, and any bride/groom who feels
put out because they don’t feel they get the gifts they deserve is
completely missing the point. However, assuming you actually care about
these people who have been so kind as to invite you to join in the
celebration of their important day, I do think it’s nice to take the
time send a gift, or at the very least a card wishing them all the best,
even if you can’t make it to the event itself. Not out of any worry
about getting on the bride and groom's bad sides or anything, but just
because it's a thoughtful thing to do. wander along this way for more!
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